I like songs with edges...
I like the song that starts as a whisper up in the brooks of a mountain, bubbling and swirling slowly into a melody and the foundation of what flows into a stream. It flows over rocks, like snare hits in a sporadic spread. Then, as it begins reaching the base of the mountain and into the fullness of a green, lush valley, it's become a river. It's wide, deep, and keeps you guessing what's happening under the surface. And near it's climax, the song becomes a waterfall, thunderous, massive, and inescapable. It launches you over the edge into a free fall of emotions. And once you hit rock bottom, wet and worn, you look back up at the mountain-top from whence you started, thinking through all the emotions and twists and turns the music put you through, and say to yourself, "What a beautiful thing I just experienced."
Blue Jays Dancing
It's been about two weeks now since I moved out and am facing this brave, new world on my own. Two weeks of multiple Wal-Mart stops for random household objects I took for granted all these years; two weeks of sitting in front of my TV with no remote, wracking my brain as to what comes next; two weeks of forcing myself to do the few dishes I have that are dirty, and finally realizing, "that's what paper plates are there for!" It's a transition. It's a time of change in every aspect of my life.
My relationships are changing, the way I see finances is changing, my attitude towards hard work is changing, but there is one area of change I have so longed for that is now staring me in the face and challenging me to take the next step: my spiritual life and daily sacrifice towards Christ and His church's mission.
Growing up in the youth group of a good 'ole Southern Baptist Church, the hardest decisions were, "should I go to the lock-in or not?" and "should I lift up my hands during this song?" Not saying that my time in youth wasn't positive or in no way helpful toward my walk. I'm just saying that, although there were invitations at youth camps and during retreats, the challenges were so futile and yet seemed so weighty then.
Now, however, the stakes are higher. There is an edginess about my walk and my daily life on this Earth. It's like every step I take could tip the balance of some spiritual battle I am unable to see...and knowing how I step, those battles probably wouldn't turn out too good. And terrifyingly, this isn't too far off base.
Everyday, as I've said before, is a battle. Satan is pushing and pulling and prodding us to trip up, to do something that makes us as "God-fearing people" look like failures in the world's eyes.
Ephesians 6:12 "For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms."
Whenever I am in this world and can emanate Christ's love, HE is winning battles. Whenever I am so in love with Him and am pointing back to HIS glory and grace, HE is winning battles. We may be foot soldiers and tools to be used by God in the grand scheme of things, but it's not our strength or our will that is being done on the battlefield...it's His.
And that is the thing that has changed the most for me. When I sit on the balcony and watch the blue jays dance or hear a sparrow sing or feel the warmth of the mid-afternoon sun, I say a prayer and it goes something like this:
"Lord, you created this all for yourself. It was for the glory of Christ that creation came to be. We are here to give back what love we can, which appears to be a mere sliver of the love you have for us. You know my thoughts, you know my emotions, and you know my passions, but help me realize they were put there by you so that I can give them back in surrendering service of your will. Wherever I am, in whatever state of mind, help me to meditate on your Spirit within me. I give myself to your will alone and not my own. I am your light and salt here in Las Colinas, from the people living around me to the patients I take care of, make me your ambassador of grace, to show others what I have discovered in You!"
Say WHAT?!?!?!
Galatians 2:20 "I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."
I was talking to a friend today who is struggling with her faith. She knows she needs that relationship God craves to share with us, but she says she just can't get to the point that she can surrender it all to Him. As we texted back and forth and I planned out each text with the perfect syntax and verbage, I began noticing that God was revealing Himself to me at the same time I was showing her what I already inherently knew.
It was a realization of things that I have been learning in the past weeks and month, something that is so totally and utterly crucial to our faith, and yet so easily overlooked or misunderstood. I told her that our walk is like an intimate relationship we share (nothing new there), and that if we want to grow closer to our Savior we have to invest time and effort into the relationship (also very unoriginal). But the next statement that flowed from my fingers shocked even me...
When we die to sin, when we admit our fault and our guilt and the fact that our depravity goes so deep to our core that we cannot escape it of our own accord, we are giving up a life we never owned, and gaining a life that is a gift. Our new lives, our new purity is nothing that we accomplished. It's not some new white robe we picked up at the "Simply Heavenly Robes" store. We can't buy these new lives; we can't earn these new lives: they are owned by our Savior because He bought them with His blood!!!!
This in and of itself is no new concept, yet in my mind it flooded every synapse and made me step back and just say, "WHAT?!?!?" This is what I'm living: a life purchased and owned by Christ because he paid in full (TETELESTA) for my sins and my life.
This changes everything! We have a free, non-sinbound life that has been given to us to live and to use to glorify Him who bought it for us. So what are we doing to show our gratitude for grace? What are we doing to point back to our Dad and say, "This isn't me that you are seeing...it's Him!"
Just a thought...or maybe a challenge?
I was talking to a friend today who is struggling with her faith. She knows she needs that relationship God craves to share with us, but she says she just can't get to the point that she can surrender it all to Him. As we texted back and forth and I planned out each text with the perfect syntax and verbage, I began noticing that God was revealing Himself to me at the same time I was showing her what I already inherently knew.
It was a realization of things that I have been learning in the past weeks and month, something that is so totally and utterly crucial to our faith, and yet so easily overlooked or misunderstood. I told her that our walk is like an intimate relationship we share (nothing new there), and that if we want to grow closer to our Savior we have to invest time and effort into the relationship (also very unoriginal). But the next statement that flowed from my fingers shocked even me...
When we die to sin, when we admit our fault and our guilt and the fact that our depravity goes so deep to our core that we cannot escape it of our own accord, we are giving up a life we never owned, and gaining a life that is a gift. Our new lives, our new purity is nothing that we accomplished. It's not some new white robe we picked up at the "Simply Heavenly Robes" store. We can't buy these new lives; we can't earn these new lives: they are owned by our Savior because He bought them with His blood!!!!
This in and of itself is no new concept, yet in my mind it flooded every synapse and made me step back and just say, "WHAT?!?!?" This is what I'm living: a life purchased and owned by Christ because he paid in full (TETELESTA) for my sins and my life.
This changes everything! We have a free, non-sinbound life that has been given to us to live and to use to glorify Him who bought it for us. So what are we doing to show our gratitude for grace? What are we doing to point back to our Dad and say, "This isn't me that you are seeing...it's Him!"
Just a thought...or maybe a challenge?
Oh, the Gravity!
We don't realize the importance of what we are living. Our daily lives, all of our choices, every interaction we maintain with another human being holds much weight in the grand scheme of things. And yet we go about our days never really seeing that we are warriors. Yes! Warriors! Fighters in an eternal, unseen battle that is waging around us every day. A battle which is bigger than every one of us, and yet every one of us plays a big part. It has raged among us since before each of our lives, even before all of humanity was ever given breath. A battle between good and evil.
This isn't a metaphorical struggle spoken and written of in great works of fiction, although those metaphors hold a bit of truth in them and allow us to comprehend what we usually cannot see. No, this is a literal struggle. A battle as real as our own flesh and blood. Fights are being won and lost by both sides avery second around the world. And whether we choose to believe it or not, the warriors are among us at all times...US!
Every choice we make, every word we speak tips the balance in one way or another. If one man goes behind the back of another and speaks ill of him, evil wins out. If a man sees a woman and looks upon her with lust, a battle has been won by evil. And although no physical death occurs, those men's hearts have died a bit, and they are one step closer to becoming the hardened, weathered warriors the side of evil longs to possess. It is so much easier to allow those demons around us to infiltrate our minds and souls, and yet we hardly notice it until it's too late.
It seems almost as if there is no hope for the "good" side. If all sins win another battle for evil, how will good ever win out? It turns out that even though the supreme commander of the dark forces holds tremendous sway over the hearts and bodies of man, there is a power much greater in play: Love. "Love conquers all," it has been said, and what a true statement that is. The comfort a woman can give to her hurting child, the compassion a man can show to a stranger in need, the selfless love a martyr exhibits when dying for a movement much bigger than himself are just a few examples of a selfless love that conquers all evil. If lust and hatred and anger can tip the scales towards evil, selfless love tips it tenfold in the other direction.
But although love wins battles, it stems from a much deeper, far more important source than just doing good among the world. A man, the King of Kings and Righteous Warrior, won out against death and defeated sin forever by giving his perfect life to save us all. It was a battle to rival all battles, and it tipped the scales of war forever. So, everyday we move closer to the end, to that final battle when evil is contained forever, we should fight! We must fight!!!
We are his soldiers. Warriors for Christ our ruler that fight not with physical weapons, but with love and salvation in Him who saved us. Everyday is a battle. Satan and his minions are battling to win us over to their side, to trip us up and prove that love and grace have no sway. So let's prove them and the world wrong! Take up your crosses, bear your spiritual armor, and run head-on into battle as warriors wielding Christ's love. The battle against sin has already been won, and Christ is right there with us, by our side and watching our backs. If we have Him with us, how can we lose!
Nobiscum Deus!
This isn't a metaphorical struggle spoken and written of in great works of fiction, although those metaphors hold a bit of truth in them and allow us to comprehend what we usually cannot see. No, this is a literal struggle. A battle as real as our own flesh and blood. Fights are being won and lost by both sides avery second around the world. And whether we choose to believe it or not, the warriors are among us at all times...US!
Every choice we make, every word we speak tips the balance in one way or another. If one man goes behind the back of another and speaks ill of him, evil wins out. If a man sees a woman and looks upon her with lust, a battle has been won by evil. And although no physical death occurs, those men's hearts have died a bit, and they are one step closer to becoming the hardened, weathered warriors the side of evil longs to possess. It is so much easier to allow those demons around us to infiltrate our minds and souls, and yet we hardly notice it until it's too late.
It seems almost as if there is no hope for the "good" side. If all sins win another battle for evil, how will good ever win out? It turns out that even though the supreme commander of the dark forces holds tremendous sway over the hearts and bodies of man, there is a power much greater in play: Love. "Love conquers all," it has been said, and what a true statement that is. The comfort a woman can give to her hurting child, the compassion a man can show to a stranger in need, the selfless love a martyr exhibits when dying for a movement much bigger than himself are just a few examples of a selfless love that conquers all evil. If lust and hatred and anger can tip the scales towards evil, selfless love tips it tenfold in the other direction.
But although love wins battles, it stems from a much deeper, far more important source than just doing good among the world. A man, the King of Kings and Righteous Warrior, won out against death and defeated sin forever by giving his perfect life to save us all. It was a battle to rival all battles, and it tipped the scales of war forever. So, everyday we move closer to the end, to that final battle when evil is contained forever, we should fight! We must fight!!!
We are his soldiers. Warriors for Christ our ruler that fight not with physical weapons, but with love and salvation in Him who saved us. Everyday is a battle. Satan and his minions are battling to win us over to their side, to trip us up and prove that love and grace have no sway. So let's prove them and the world wrong! Take up your crosses, bear your spiritual armor, and run head-on into battle as warriors wielding Christ's love. The battle against sin has already been won, and Christ is right there with us, by our side and watching our backs. If we have Him with us, how can we lose!
Nobiscum Deus!
Try this one on for size...
Not sure exactly what to call this yet: LOST? Wait and Sift? Adrift? Still working on it.
Verse 1
Find me here.
Find me here.
Knees to my chest.
Drown in my fears.
Chorus
I don't want to be the only one who knows you,
but I guess that's just the way it's got to be right now.
I don't want to be the only one who's lost in the open sea,
but I guess that's just how it's got to be.
Verse 2
Birds saturate the trees.
No leaves, no leaves can I see.
I wait for the gold to come.
But while I sift, I only find mud.
[Unknown bridge lyrics?]
Verse 1
Find me here.
Find me here.
Knees to my chest.
Drown in my fears.
Chorus
I don't want to be the only one who knows you,
but I guess that's just the way it's got to be right now.
I don't want to be the only one who's lost in the open sea,
but I guess that's just how it's got to be.
Verse 2
Birds saturate the trees.
No leaves, no leaves can I see.
I wait for the gold to come.
But while I sift, I only find mud.
[Unknown bridge lyrics?]
Psalm 51: A Step Back
1 Have mercy upon me, O God, According to Your lovingkindness; According to the multitude of Your tender mercies, Blot out my transgressions. 2 Wash me thoroughly from my iniquity, And cleanse me from my sin.3 For I acknowledge my transgressions, And my sin is always before me.4 Against You, You only, have I sinned, And done this evil in Your sight––That You may be found just when You speak, And blameless when You judge. 8 Make me hear joy and gladness, That the bones You have broken may rejoice.9 Hide Your face from my sins, And blot out all my iniquities.10 Create in me a clean heart, O God, And renew a steadfast spirit within me.11 Do not cast me away from Your presence, And do not take Your Holy Spirit from me. 13 Deliver me from the guilt of bloodshed, O God, The God of my salvation, And my tongue shall sing aloud of Your righteousness.
How quickly we can become "no more!" How quickly do we see our sins and our disobedience and think, "It's over...I'm done. God wants no part of me anymore. I'm so far removed that I'm beyond saving." Maybe that's just me? Who knows. The fact is that almost instantly after I have committed some sort of sin against God I feel a guilt and a sense of dread that I have done somthing to forever break my communication with my Savior. But this is not what I'm called to do.
Guilt is not somthing the Lord puts onto us. Guilt is a feeling Satan uses to appeal to our humanity. The first things Adam and Eve felt when they disobeyed the Lord were embarassment and guilt. And it's so easy to feel like that. I mean, we disobeyed the Creator of the Universe, our Father, our Savior, the King of Kings. Anyone would look at that and think, "Wow, I messed up, big time! I don't deserve His forgiveness." And that is exactly true...which makes grace that much more beautiful!
Grace, according to Dictionary.com is mercy, clemency, pardon, or the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. There is nothing we can do to earn it. There is nothing I can do to receive that grace of my own accord. But through Christ's sacrifice, we get that chance. We have the ability to trust Christ and his saving grace and power in our lives to make us right in God's eyes.
David understood this before Christ was even born. We have the chance to go before our Father and confess our sins and become clean FOREVER!!! No more does sin bind us; no longer are we sin's slaves. We are free, for now and forever!
O, Lord! What a beautiful thing you have done for me, for us! Remind me daily of repentance and the grace that you have given us! I will sing praises to you in the streets, from the mountaintops. Don't allow us to hold in this good news of salvation and mercy. Let us tell the world!!!!
How quickly we can become "no more!" How quickly do we see our sins and our disobedience and think, "It's over...I'm done. God wants no part of me anymore. I'm so far removed that I'm beyond saving." Maybe that's just me? Who knows. The fact is that almost instantly after I have committed some sort of sin against God I feel a guilt and a sense of dread that I have done somthing to forever break my communication with my Savior. But this is not what I'm called to do.
Guilt is not somthing the Lord puts onto us. Guilt is a feeling Satan uses to appeal to our humanity. The first things Adam and Eve felt when they disobeyed the Lord were embarassment and guilt. And it's so easy to feel like that. I mean, we disobeyed the Creator of the Universe, our Father, our Savior, the King of Kings. Anyone would look at that and think, "Wow, I messed up, big time! I don't deserve His forgiveness." And that is exactly true...which makes grace that much more beautiful!
Grace, according to Dictionary.com is mercy, clemency, pardon, or the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God. There is nothing we can do to earn it. There is nothing I can do to receive that grace of my own accord. But through Christ's sacrifice, we get that chance. We have the ability to trust Christ and his saving grace and power in our lives to make us right in God's eyes.
David understood this before Christ was even born. We have the chance to go before our Father and confess our sins and become clean FOREVER!!! No more does sin bind us; no longer are we sin's slaves. We are free, for now and forever!
O, Lord! What a beautiful thing you have done for me, for us! Remind me daily of repentance and the grace that you have given us! I will sing praises to you in the streets, from the mountaintops. Don't allow us to hold in this good news of salvation and mercy. Let us tell the world!!!!
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