Vending Machine

The other day at church, as I was walking to the bathroom I noticed the bank of vending machines along the wall. They were where they always were, all looking as they do every week, except for one thing. The snack machine looked normal, filled with treats and chips and other unhealthy bags of goodies ready to be consumed by the next poor sucker hungry enough to put a dollar in. The lights were all on, the glass was clean, and the machine was plugged in and beckoning for someone to come over and taste of its goodness...except for the sign over the payment section and buttons: "Out of Order" in big, black sharpie. If I hadn't been right next to the machine and the sign I wouldn't have thought twice and could have easily walked over in hunger and in my time of need for a Twinkie, only to discover that I had been duped into thinking the snacks were readily available when they truly weren't.
I walked past anyways, but as I walked away I felt like God was teaching me a little lesson through this short encounter, through this seemingly meaningless experience. He started saying this: "David, what if my glory was hidden behind a glass, looking like it was ready for you to reach out and touch, only to be discovered as distant and impossible to reach? What if I teased you by keeping the lights on in my vending machine of salvation, only to put a sign up over the payment area saying 'Out of Order'? How would that feel? You would be helpless to fill your emptiness and needs, your thirst could not be quenched, and your appetite unsatiated. I would be a tease, promising life and eternity, only to withhold it from my hungry creation. Why would I do that?"
He went on to say, "I don't! I tore down the 'Out of Order' sign when I died on the cross as Jesus Christ. I alone was able to break the glass separating you from my salvation. The lights on the machine are on, the glass is broken, and the only payment you need is faith in Christ and Christ alone. His blood is the only legal tender I accept, and he abounds. He is enough to provide the whole world with the salvation I am offering. He is standing at the open vending machine saying 'Come to me, I am the bread of life, the water of the Living God. I am the Savior and I can provide.'"
I thought about all this and it excited me. There's nothing more useless than an out of order vending machine. No one can get to the things inside, which the machine was made to hold. Looking at God's glorious mercy and salvation without reaching out for Christ is just as foolish. God designed His plan the way He did to save us from our sins and foolishness, and to provide lovingly because He desires us. Our God longs for us, His children, and He wants His children to be fed.
I want to reach out and be able to take all the gifts and goodness God has promised us through the life we now have in Christ. I don't want to be on the outside of the out of order vending machine, I want to reach through the glass with Christ and grab whatever I need, and in that way I will use it to bring glory to His name and bring others to the openness of salvation in Christ.

"My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galations 2:20

The Thing I Love Most

"I lift a knife to the thing I love most
Praying You'll come so I can have both
What I need is You to touch me
What I need is for You to be the thing that I need."
-David Crowder Band, Let Me Feel You Shine

This whole week has been very different compared to most of my weeks so far. Lots of lessons are being learned and lots of changes are occurring. It's amazing to see how God speaks, and even more amazing to see what He speaks about. It's like ever since my prayer became "show me your way that your glory be made known," He's had no problem getting in my face and teaching me some new tricks. And I love it!
This is my New Spring in life. I have come out of the cold, dead winter, out of darkness and despair, out of emptiness, and I'm emerging into a spring-time of amazing, fast growth, changes, shifts, new beginnings, and new opportunities. This is what happens when we die to ourselves and arise in Christ.
We can't make the seasons in our lives change any more than we can make the seasons of the Earth change. It's useless, and feudal. Our job as humans is to surrender it all, dying branch and twisted root, to the One who can put life back into the Earth around us. Our job is to allow the glory rain of God to wash over our dead skin, saturating us with love, mercy, compassion, and grace, so that we can see where our life comes from and point back to him. Hosea 2:14-23
That sounds so general and cliche, but it's a basic of our faith. "...give your bodies to God because of all he has done for you. Let them be a living and holy sacrifice—the kind he will find acceptable. This is truly the way to worship him." Romans 12:1
I've had to learn a tiny bit about self-sacrifice this week. One lesson He keeps pushing on me is that whatever I love most, whatever I hold dear and fear to lose more than anything, I need to bring to the altar of sacrifice for Him. The story of Abraham and Isaac comes to mind. It finally makes sense: what did Abraham love more than the son the Lord had given him? What other belonging or desire was more important to Abraham than his own flesh and blood, the thing he had waited for his whole life to possess? Nothing. But God tested his faith and commitment by commanding him to give up his own son, merely because He said to.
Oh that I would be so willing!
There are lots of things in my life that are important to me, and others that are becoming more important to me, even recently. But my prayer has to be, and has been, "Lord, be glorified in me and this life you've given me. Allow me to continually sacrifice those things which I hold most dear, even down to my own life, as fragrant offerings on the altar of praise, that you would be made known, that I would die to myself and this world, risen in Christ, and that your glory-light will be lit and made bright for the world to see. Amen."

Submarine

Last night, as I was driving home from Bible study late, I was playing a David Crowder CD. Everyone who knows me knows I love Crowder, so this doesn't come as a surprise. I was driving with the music cranked, letting the new music and lyrics flood over me. It was dark outside, and even though I was on a highway with cars all around me, I felt insulated, almost like I was in a submarine deep under the surface of the waves. Down there I was looking at these fish with weird lights on their heads, seeing crags and mountains that had never seen the light of day. I trekked on and heard the voice of the Lord begin to speak.
I wasn't quite sure what he was saying at first, but as I drove on, I began hearing the lyrics more clearly. I began to give them over as a sacrifice and offering to Him, to our God. I was singing at the top of my lungs, bawling, calling for Him to speak to me. Prayer has become so much more real and powerful to me in recent weeks. I'm trying to seek out God's will for my life in all things, and as my view of Him becomes more clear and my epiphany hits home, I no longer see Him as my eternal "Boss", as a manager who is just there to make sure I'm productive and on track, or will only point out my faults if they somehow affect His kingdom.
I'm seeing our God as my Father for the first time in a long time. He is the one who eternally and completely cares. I am going to Him with issues and trials and wants and desires and laying them at His feet, and He is talking back. It's a two-way conversation. I'm growing in my knowledge and intimacy of the Creator of the Universe, my Savior and Father, at such a perfect crossroads in life.
It excites me. It goes back to that urgency I spoke of earlier this week. I feel the need to make Him known in this world so overwhelmingly that things I held on to before are mere dust in my hands now. I'm beginning to be transformed by the Spirit, a renewal of my mind. Just like our church is going through the season of Epiphany, so too am I having my own Epiphany in my walk with Christ.
So, basically, as I drove home, isolated from the world for a small period in my car, but embraced by the Creator, I looked up and saw the bright and shining moon overhead and the few stars we can see in the city. I prayed to God, "Lord, make yourself known in this fallen world by what you can do through me. I'm fallen, Lord, but use me to your glory. Come with a might and power this world has never seen and wake us up! Steal back what is yours by softening hearts that will turn and see your cross as beautiful and as the only thing worth living for. I Love You. Amen."

Passion and Light...

...these two words have been coming up a lot recently, ever since I returned from Passion. Since then I feel changed, like I'm warmer, like I can't spiritually sit still. I explained it in our small groups and on the trip back like this:
Every time we had a big, family trip to Mississippi or the beach, the night and day before were reserved for packing and preparing. Every one of us had our own responsibilities to make sure the trip went smoothly and nothing got left behind. Each of us had our specific needs and problems to face and we had to pack our own belongings, because no one else knew what was important to us or what would hurt us if left behind. But as a family, as a body, we also had to remember certain other things that would affect the car's trip as a whole (games, snacks, trash bags, our little brother, etc.)
There was an urgency, which is what I remembered most. I was always so excited, looking forward to the end goal of getting to the beach, but first of getting into the car the next day. I didn't ever look at my suitcase and say "why do I need to pack you?! I just want to leave." I never once thought it would be a good idea to just up and leave without first planning out what was important to the journey.
Then, at Passion, God grabbed me, broke me, and began rebuilding me by saying, "why then do you feel the need to ignore my preparation for your heart, all the while longing for the fulfillment of my will? Shouldn't you feel just as excited about what I'm doing in your life right now, packing you up, so that when you finally get into my will, the car, the journey will be prepared and ready for you to walk into?" I was convicted. There is an urgency in my life now, and I feel it growing contagiously.
The Lord, through his light of salvation and mercy and grace, showed me my faults. I was broken and cracked and he renewed my spirit and passions. He made my desires his desires and told me "you were my enemy and I cleaned you. You were my enemy and I clothed you. You were my enemy and I loved you, and now I call you 'friend' and you are my son...LIVE LIKE IT!" Through his Light I could finally see my Passion revealed in his will. Not that is wasn't there before, it always was. It just took a week of walking up Downtown Mountain through Hurricane Blizzard Gustaf and standing in lines with 45,000 other students in Atlanta, praising and glorifying the Lord, for me to finally see it.
Thank the lord for his grace and mercy, "that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!" "We are God's masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus so that we can do the good things He had planned for us long ago." Amen.