Passion and Light...

...these two words have been coming up a lot recently, ever since I returned from Passion. Since then I feel changed, like I'm warmer, like I can't spiritually sit still. I explained it in our small groups and on the trip back like this:
Every time we had a big, family trip to Mississippi or the beach, the night and day before were reserved for packing and preparing. Every one of us had our own responsibilities to make sure the trip went smoothly and nothing got left behind. Each of us had our specific needs and problems to face and we had to pack our own belongings, because no one else knew what was important to us or what would hurt us if left behind. But as a family, as a body, we also had to remember certain other things that would affect the car's trip as a whole (games, snacks, trash bags, our little brother, etc.)
There was an urgency, which is what I remembered most. I was always so excited, looking forward to the end goal of getting to the beach, but first of getting into the car the next day. I didn't ever look at my suitcase and say "why do I need to pack you?! I just want to leave." I never once thought it would be a good idea to just up and leave without first planning out what was important to the journey.
Then, at Passion, God grabbed me, broke me, and began rebuilding me by saying, "why then do you feel the need to ignore my preparation for your heart, all the while longing for the fulfillment of my will? Shouldn't you feel just as excited about what I'm doing in your life right now, packing you up, so that when you finally get into my will, the car, the journey will be prepared and ready for you to walk into?" I was convicted. There is an urgency in my life now, and I feel it growing contagiously.
The Lord, through his light of salvation and mercy and grace, showed me my faults. I was broken and cracked and he renewed my spirit and passions. He made my desires his desires and told me "you were my enemy and I cleaned you. You were my enemy and I clothed you. You were my enemy and I loved you, and now I call you 'friend' and you are my son...LIVE LIKE IT!" Through his Light I could finally see my Passion revealed in his will. Not that is wasn't there before, it always was. It just took a week of walking up Downtown Mountain through Hurricane Blizzard Gustaf and standing in lines with 45,000 other students in Atlanta, praising and glorifying the Lord, for me to finally see it.
Thank the lord for his grace and mercy, "that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us!" "We are God's masterpiece, created anew in Christ Jesus so that we can do the good things He had planned for us long ago." Amen.