Submarine

Last night, as I was driving home from Bible study late, I was playing a David Crowder CD. Everyone who knows me knows I love Crowder, so this doesn't come as a surprise. I was driving with the music cranked, letting the new music and lyrics flood over me. It was dark outside, and even though I was on a highway with cars all around me, I felt insulated, almost like I was in a submarine deep under the surface of the waves. Down there I was looking at these fish with weird lights on their heads, seeing crags and mountains that had never seen the light of day. I trekked on and heard the voice of the Lord begin to speak.
I wasn't quite sure what he was saying at first, but as I drove on, I began hearing the lyrics more clearly. I began to give them over as a sacrifice and offering to Him, to our God. I was singing at the top of my lungs, bawling, calling for Him to speak to me. Prayer has become so much more real and powerful to me in recent weeks. I'm trying to seek out God's will for my life in all things, and as my view of Him becomes more clear and my epiphany hits home, I no longer see Him as my eternal "Boss", as a manager who is just there to make sure I'm productive and on track, or will only point out my faults if they somehow affect His kingdom.
I'm seeing our God as my Father for the first time in a long time. He is the one who eternally and completely cares. I am going to Him with issues and trials and wants and desires and laying them at His feet, and He is talking back. It's a two-way conversation. I'm growing in my knowledge and intimacy of the Creator of the Universe, my Savior and Father, at such a perfect crossroads in life.
It excites me. It goes back to that urgency I spoke of earlier this week. I feel the need to make Him known in this world so overwhelmingly that things I held on to before are mere dust in my hands now. I'm beginning to be transformed by the Spirit, a renewal of my mind. Just like our church is going through the season of Epiphany, so too am I having my own Epiphany in my walk with Christ.
So, basically, as I drove home, isolated from the world for a small period in my car, but embraced by the Creator, I looked up and saw the bright and shining moon overhead and the few stars we can see in the city. I prayed to God, "Lord, make yourself known in this fallen world by what you can do through me. I'm fallen, Lord, but use me to your glory. Come with a might and power this world has never seen and wake us up! Steal back what is yours by softening hearts that will turn and see your cross as beautiful and as the only thing worth living for. I Love You. Amen."