Golden Beam

The other day as I was driving to class, dreading the two upcoming tests for which I had so "fervently studied," I began to think about the past few weeks of my life. I had a short psych session with myself in my car and realized something...I had lost my fire. It was gone, vamoosh, extinguished. I thought I could never get it back. For a fleeting moment, I thought that I was going to become a drifter in this life, a man with no hopes, no ambition, no future. I had become numb to this fact until that very moment when it hit me hard.

I was merely going through the motions, smiling and saying I was happy (which I was most of the time...no worries, I didn't go crazy or become suicidal). I had no peace. I felt like nothing was anchoring me down, like I was an old flag flapping in the winds of life, giving into my desires and emotions.

As I came down one of the hills on the way to school, I looked over to the West and saw the full Moon in the sky, shining as bright as if it were midnight. It was a peculiar sight to see the Moon lingering so long in the morning sky. But I just shrugged it off and drove on, staring blankly ahead at the oncoming road. I turned at the next light and made it down one more hill and around a bend.

The whole trip takes about ten minutes, but the whole time the Eastern sky is blocked by trees, houses, and 7-Elevens. As I rounded the bend I gasped...the sunrise was brilliant! The Sun was just coming up and there were clouds in the East. The great golden orb shone brilliantly, illuminating the clouds with beams of warm sunlight, painting them pink, purple, and dark blue. Right where the crest of the Sun and the bottom of the clouds met there were strands of gold, like a necklace over the sky.

I was speechless and tried to balance my eyes between the beautiful sunrise and the road. I hadn't seen such a beautiful sunrise my whole life. I found myself with tears streaming out of my eyes. I thought of Who had made such a beautiful sunrise, and how small I was in comparison. I thought of the past few weeks that I had selfishly taken and wasted, playing a game of life and not living it for my created purpose. I cried in sorrow for forgiveness...but I also cried in joy, finally realizing I had found my peace and fire again.

No matter how hard life gets, or how much I think I can do on my own, He has, is, and will always be there in brilliance like that sunrise. Like the full Moon I saw in the West, we sometimes are lingering, hanging around, waiting for the sunrise. Sometimes, it takes a revelation to change us and turn us back around. This was my revelation...this was my turning point.

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