Sitting in the cafeteria this morning between classes I had finally had it. My apathy had eaten me apart to the point of exhaustion, but more to the point of disgust with myself. I understood my predicament was merely a result of my sins, sins that had caused the death of my True Love, of my Father, and myself. I was reading Black by Ted Dekker last night and it talked about how our sins cause God to scream out in pain, not us, but God. It causes Him to feel pain every time we wrong him, every time we turn our back on him we crucify Christ on the cross again.
So, I was sick of my life as it was, as it never was meant to be. I wanted to stop killing Christ, to live a life that was holy and pleasing to him. I gave it all up and let Him take me, finally and forever.
I've heard this song before but never really understood the meaning until now, and it is verbatim what I needed to say to my Father for so long but never could. This song and this day helped me re-find my life's purpose.
This is the first thing I remember
I’ve seen black and white forever
But the mistakes I’ve made are making me afraid
That I might do something
Something that can’t be forgiven
So I’ve got this suit and tie
Something I can hide behind
And it feels like I’ve got give you
10 good reasons why
You still love me every time
10 good reasons
I deserve forgiveness every night
10 good reason why
You still love me when I
I ain't got no reason why
And I remember laying everything down
Only to turn around and sell you out
It’s like I’m laughing in your face for the sacrifice you made
But you’re breaking my defenses
And you’ll carry me when
It feels like I've got to give you
But this is everything I wanted:
To give you reasons I’m not
Everything you wanted
There’s blood on my hands
These 10 reasons I can’t give you
Is one more reason that I need you
I ain’t got no, I ain’t got no, I ain’t got no reasons why
I ain’t got no, I ain’t got no, got no reason why
No comments:
Post a Comment